The Three Inner Knots: Understanding Fear, Attachment and Ego in Everyday Life

You may know what needs to change in your life—and still find yourself unable to change it.

You know you need rest, but you feel guilty when you stop working. You love your family, but their choices disturb your peace. You want to grow financially, but fear makes every decision feel dangerous. You pray for guidance, yet struggle to accept an answer different from the one you wanted.

What holds us in these patterns?

The yogic tradition offers a powerful image: a granthi—an inner knot.

A knot does not destroy a thread. It tangles it. In the same way, our capacity for love, wisdom and purposeful action may still be present, even when fear and attachment make it difficult to express.

Understanding these knots gives us a language for looking within—with honesty and compassion.

The prayer behind the teaching

In the Lalita Sahasranama, the Divine Mother is praised as:

Brahma-granthi-vibhedini
Vishnu-granthi-vibhedini
Rudra-granthi-vibhedini

These names honour Her as the one who pierces or releases the three spiritual knots. The surrounding verses describe Her presence through the chakras and Her ascent to the sahasrara, the thousand-petalled lotus.

In yogic teachings, these are subtle spiritual concepts. Their precise locations and explanations vary across traditions. In this article, I use them as a practical lens for understanding material attachment, emotional attachment and attachment to our sense of “I.” These everyday examples are interpretations for reflection, rather than literal translations of the Sanskrit names.

We can begin with three questions:

What am I afraid of losing?
Whose approval do I feel I cannot live without?
What belief about myself am I unwilling to question?

Our answers may reveal where a knot has tightened.

1. Brahma Granthi: “Will I be safe?”

Think of someone who checks their bank balance repeatedly, yet avoids making a clear financial plan.

Or someone who remains in an exhausting situation because the familiar feels safer than an uncertain possibility.

Through the lens of Brahma Granthi, we can examine our attachment to physical comfort, possessions and security.

Food, shelter, income and stability are real needs. Wanting them is natural. The difficulty begins when our entire sense of safety depends on keeping life exactly as it is.

The inner voice may say:

“I cannot relax until everything is secure.”

But life rarely gives us complete certainty. So rest keeps getting postponed.

How this appears around wealth

Two people can make the same financial decision for very different reasons.

One saves money thoughtfully to support their family. Another saves compulsively because no amount feels sufficient.

One invests in their business after checking the costs. Another spends impulsively because they fear missing their only chance.

The useful question is:

“Am I responding to the facts, or reacting to fear?”

Spiritual awareness does not ask us to ignore bills or responsibilities. It invites us to meet them with greater clarity.

A practical beginning is to write down:

• What do I actually need this month?
• What resources are available?
• What is the next manageable step?
• Which part of my worry concerns a situation that has not happened?

Fear becomes easier to work with when we separate an actual problem from an imagined future.

A small practice

Place your feet comfortably on the ground. Breathe naturally. Notice the support beneath you.

Then say:

“I can care for my future through the action available to me today.”

Follow this with one concrete task: review an expense, finish a proposal, ask for help or schedule the rest you have been postponing.

The aim is to practise steadiness while taking responsibility.

2. Vishnu Granthi: “Will I still be loved?”

A mother feels hurt when her child becomes more independent.

A partner hears disagreement as rejection.

A caring person says yes to everyone, then feels exhausted and unseen.

These experiences invite us to examine the difference between love and our need to feel secure through another person.

Through the lens of Vishnu Granthi, we can explore emotional attachment: the ways we hold tightly to relationships, roles and expectations.

The hidden thought may be:

“If you love me, you should behave the way I need you to.”

This can be difficult to recognise because it often lives inside sincere care.

We may truly love someone—and also expect them to protect us from disappointment.

When giving becomes a silent agreement

Sometimes we give without speaking our needs, while quietly hoping:

“After everything I do, surely they will understand.”

When they do not, resentment grows.

Before giving, pause and ask:

“Can I offer this freely? If I need something in return, have I expressed that clearly?”

This question can bring honesty into relationships.

A boundary may sound like:

“I care about you. I can listen this evening, but I need to rest now.”

A request may sound like:

“I would appreciate your help with this. Can we decide how to share it?”

These are ordinary sentences, yet they can interrupt years of silent disappointment.

Motherhood, love and space

As a mother, I find this a meaningful area for reflection.

A child’s growing independence can bring pride and tenderness, along with the ache of being needed differently.

We can ask ourselves:

“Am I helping my child become capable, or asking my child to keep reassuring me that I matter?”

There is no need to judge ourselves for the answer. Awareness gives us a chance to choose again.

Love can remain deeply present while allowing another person room to grow.

A small practice

Write down one relationship in which you feel repeatedly hurt.

Complete these sentences:

• “I keep expecting…”
• “I have not clearly asked for…”
• “What is within my control is…”

Then choose one respectful conversation or boundary.

Understanding a spiritual teaching becomes meaningful when it changes how we speak and listen.

3. Rudra Granthi: “Who am I without this identity?”

The third knot can be subtle because it may hide inside our strengths.

Knowledge can become an unwillingness to learn.

Success can become a fear of appearing ordinary.

Spiritual practice can become a need to be seen as spiritually advanced.

Through the lens of Rudra Granthi, we examine our attachment to identity, certainty and the feeling that “I know.”

The inner voice may say:

“If I admit I was wrong, people will lose respect for me.”

Or:

“I have helped so many people. Why should I need help?”

Yet being experienced does not remove our need for reflection.

The spiritual identity can also become tight

A healer can feel pressure to remain peaceful at all times.

An astrologer can feel pressure to have every answer.

A teacher can feel uncomfortable becoming a student again.

These expectations can make a meaningful calling feel like a role we must constantly defend.

For me, an essential question is:

“Can I remain devoted to my work while staying open to correction?”

Humility allows us to say:

“This is my present understanding.”
“I need to examine this more carefully.”
“Thank you. I had not considered that.”

Our dignity can survive these sentences. Our understanding may grow because of them.

A small practice

The next time you feel defensive, pause before explaining yourself.

Ask:

“What am I protecting right now—something true, or my image?”

You may still disagree. But a pause can help you respond thoughtfully instead of fighting to preserve an identity.

What this means for health, wealth and mind

My work brings together astrology, spiritual reflection and the practical concerns people carry into daily life.

The three-granthi framework offers useful questions across these areas:

These are tools for self-reflection. A health condition or financial difficulty does not prove that a spiritual knot is blocked. Illness needs appropriate healthcare, and financial problems deserve practical planning.

We should never turn spiritual language into another reason for someone to blame themselves.

Where astrology can help

My guiding belief is:

Astrology should create awareness, preparedness and transformation.

A consultation can provide space to reflect on recurring themes and the choices a person faces. Its value should include helping someone leave with greater clarity and useful actions.

A prediction becomes unhelpful when it makes a person feel powerless.

Instead, I want us to ask:

What can you prepare for?
What habit deserves attention?
What support do you need?
What decision can you make more consciously?

Astrology can be a spiritual framework for reflection; it cannot establish a medical diagnosis or guarantee wealth. Our everyday choices and appropriate professional support remain essential.

A gentle daily reflection

Set aside five quiet minutes.

Ask yourself:

Today, where did fear decide for me?
Where did I confuse love with control?
Where did I defend my image instead of listening?

Choose just one answer to work with.

Perhaps tomorrow you will check the facts before worrying. Perhaps you will express a need without accusation. Perhaps you will accept feedback without immediately explaining yourself.

You may also offer this simple prayer:

“Maa, help me see what I am holding too tightly. Give me the courage to act, the tenderness to love and the humility to learn.”

These reflections do not require forcing an intense spiritual experience. They ask for honest attention to the life already in front of us.

The thread is still whole

A tightly knotted necklace needs patience. Pulling harder may tighten it.

We can approach ourselves with the same care.

Some of our patterns once helped us cope. Staying alert may have helped during uncertainty. Pleasing others may have protected an important relationship. Appearing certain may have helped us face responsibility.

We can appreciate why a pattern developed while recognising when it has become restrictive.

The invitation of the three granthis is deeply personal:

To build security without being ruled by fear.
To love without holding another person captive to our expectations.
To grow in knowledge without closing the door to learning.

You do not have to solve your whole life today. Notice one knot, and meet it with one wiser choice.

Gargi A Jaitleey
Spiritual Healer & Astrologer
Astrology for Health, Wealth and Mind